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Willingness

Most of my life in the addiction period I never had an answer to my problems. Even though there was no human power that could change my attitude and even my addiction lifestyle. However people surrounding me like friends, cousins and childhood best friends have seen my addiction getting worse and worse according to different circumstances where I had even stolen materialistic things from my own home to feed my addiction. But solutions to my problems were only drugs and alcohol. I never had a desire to change my life and get out of addiction because the company of bad bad friends was always with me through my journey. My parents had religious beliefs and I always had a negative perception of the circumstances that happened to me . Most of my life I had spent was free of peace and relaxation, therefore I always took the advantage of my parents emotions and feelings to fulfill my addiction. For my addiction I never realised how much pain and misery my parents have gone through.

For me, always my drugs were the first priority to me. On the other hand, when I had no choice and even my relationships built up with my parents were falling off. Family troubles, finances to feed my addiction and social life of myself was even so ruined that I had no happiness and peace left in my life . Most of my childhood friends had tried to convince me that why I am ruining my crucial period of life just doing drugs and alcohol. As a teenager I was never able to find out the negative consequences of my behaviour towards others. All of my friends told me that addiction would take you to a certain point in your life when you would realise your past and could do nothing to change about that. Blackouts after alcohol and drugs became common for me and police cells, hospitals were the part of my life. However the only thing I knew was that only drugs, drugs, and drugs. Even nobody was helping me get out of addiction. All the good friends I meant were just there to take advantage of me. But according to me, all of them were my true friends. Moreover my addicted behaviour became so harmful for others in the society. Addiction was affecting my character, lifestyle and mental health too.

Infact, one day I got involved at a crime scene where I just got caught by cops with that much drug to feed myself. That night was the turning point of my life. Cops took me to the prison and in the prison I got introduced to the program of AA. The very first day of the AA meeting in the prison became the answer to my addiction. When a chairperson allowed me to share and I said I am an alcoholic and my name is aron. From this point willingness to change life became the keypoint where I admitted I do have a problem with drugs and alcohol. Therefore I took one step everyday to head towards the meeting. Once I became willing, the journey to get out of addiction became so much easier for me. I use to spend some time introducing myself to other members before and after the meetings so that I can build up e healthy relationships with them. Since that day my life became unimaginable. I am sober and all the friends are supportive to help me in any perspective.

For me personally I never thought that there is a solution to my addiction problem. But once I got it, and I never looked back. You know, today in my life I have loads of relaxation and true friends of AA who are caring and loving. Willingness was the crucial part of my recovery. After I went to prison, I completely surrendered myself to the program because I didn’t want to create any more troubles so that the criminal justice could forgive me. I had so much remorse for what I did to my family, friends and society . My relationships today are meaningful and valuable to me. If I had never found this program I would be dead. So at the end, I am grateful that this program worked for me. However I had a desire to change my life but I didn’t find any solution before the prison life. Even though I was sentenced for one month jail time and I accepted that freely with no complaints because I knew that I was responsible for my own actions. Therefore today I am enjoying a reliable , honest and freedom free life. It is just because of my willingness. If I had not learnt anything out of my crime scene, this opportunity to recover from addiction would never have been successful. Nowadays I am involved with the fellowship of true friends and going to meetings on a consistent basis is part of my healthy lifestyle.

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